MRNA Vaccine Kills Everyone in France, Causes Magnetic Hemorrhoids Throughout Europe

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Tuesday 28 June 2059 53682 Shares

MRNA Vaccine Kills Everyone in France, Causes Magnetic Hemorrhoids Throughout Europe

Nearly the entire population of France has died over the past few weeks as a result of taking the Pfizer vaccine. France has had one of the highest rates of uptake of the vaccine since imposing mandatory vaccination on their country. And now they have paid the ultimate price.

The 5G relays in the vaccine create magnetic fields that get stronger after several months, and learn to combine with magnetic fields from others. The 5G nanoparticles tend to concentrate in hemorrhoids which swell up and get stronger, and join forces with the hemorrhoids of others to create a 5G WiFi hemorrhoid force brighter than the Sun, drawing all metal in, faster than the speed of sound, crushing their victims alive.

Scientists are warning people to avoid travelling to France, as it is not known if the 5G force will subside after the death of its citizens. Other Europeans are waiting in long lines for emergency hemorrhoid removal surgery and some have taken it upon themselves to remove magnetic hemorrhoids, with disastrous consequences. Once removed, magnetic hemorrhoids must be disposed of and neutralized with special gear and not just flushed down the toilet.

People who have flushed their magnetic hemorrhoids or thrown them into landfills have discovered the hard way that these hemorrhoids are drawn to one another magnetically, and merge to form giant sentient magnetic hemorrhoids capable of sending the Earth flying out of its orbit into the Sun.

Governments are warning their citizens in PSAs not to remove hemorrhoids themselves and to wait until more professionals are trained and available. The very existence of the planet depends on disposing of magnetic hemorrhoids in a safe manner.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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