Former KGB agent discovered the phone he was using in the 80’s was not connected at all
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Gonzalaiev Martinikov, former KGB agent infiltrated in Spain under the alias Gonzalo Martín, and acting as fake Procurement Manager for a US chemical company, discovered in last weeks that the encrypted telephone he was using to inform his hierarchy in Kaliningrad, Russia, was actually connected to a yoghurt pot.
“During my last trip to Lviv, I acknowledged that all my reports fell down as no one was over the phone” reported the former agent, “I was in charge of leaking info about chemicals, political situations in Spain, serial rape of goats in Andorra, but all my reports were useless”. He reported to feel more angry when he noticed that this phone was connected to a young child in Bulgaria, Aurelian Denetrius. “This kid didn’t understand what was really happening on this side of the Wall, we lost a lot of opportunities to spread socialism across Western Europe”.
Now retired, and despite his new passion - Josefo and voyeurism in Costa Brava creeks - he is still trying to have someone over the phone. Heavy consuming of LSD, Madame Courage pills, and cocaine is not helping him to disconnect from his former duties.
At the editorial board of FakeNews, we wish him a very peaceful and cool retirement.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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